Hey Everyone,
I'm finally writing a post for you. I know it's been a long time since the last one Kurt wrote, but I have to say, it's been busy around here. Not in a way most people would think, but when you go from just the two of you living together away from home and then back to your old life with two busy kids and a house, I've found it to be quite a change, and at times not an easy one. Don't get me wrong, I love being home with the boys and wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's been tough adjusting. I find myself doing everything I can for the boys and trying to be the same as I was before this all happened, but I'm still far from that but after a couple days of that I am burnt out and exhausted. I'm having a hard time finding a balance in taking care of myself and being there as much as I can for the boys (all of them, Kurt included). I know, in time, it will come, but I can get pretty impatient with myself.
So, what's been going on lately? Hmm, not very much. We had our first appointment at the Cross, it was good and all my blood work is doing what it needs to do. They said everything looked good. Their only concern is my weight, I'm considered malnourished, which I never thought would be a problem for me. I have always loved food and never had a problem with eating it. I probably over indulged a time or two. However, now, I am not getting even close to the amount of calories needed in a day. This has and will continue be my biggest battle. I have lost enough weight that you can count my ribs....yuck is right. Never in a million years did I think I would have to gain weight and fat. But I never thought I would get cancer either. So, I need to eat as much as I can in a day and drink and drink and drink. The doctors at the Cross want to see me every two weeks for awhile, so they can monitor my weight and such. But once that is a bit better, we will only be going there once a month to get blood work done and see the doctors.
I went to an appointment today at the fertility clinic at the Royal Alex. I found out that my reproductive system has shut down which I knew could happen after chemo and the transplant. But when they finally tell you that you can't and won't have more children, the news is hard to take. I thought I had dealt with it and was okay with not having any more kids, but to have it so finalized, and not by your choice, is heart breaking. I always pictured my life with a house full of kids, driving a minivan, going a million places at once, but now that will never be. I cried the whole way home from the appointment, and when I got home I cried while I gave my little boys the biggest hug ever. I need to keep telling myself that I will be fine and I am very lucky to have Linden and Cael in my life, and they are healthy and happy. We have a family, even if it is only 4 of us, we are a family.
Tomorrow is the dentist. I hate the dentist and I am very afraid of what he will tell me. Because of the transplant, my teeth are bad, I feel it. So I am worried that I will need fillings and stuff like that. It's crazy, but I would rather have another bone marrow aspirate than a filling. I'm serious. That's how much I don't like the dentist.
Well, hopefully we will write sooner than we did last time. I want to keep writing with updates and stuff like that. Thanks for all your comments and thoughts, I love reading them and they defiantly help this whole process we are going through. Please keep praying for continued healing as my body is re-adjusting to everything. Oh, and for me get fatter.
Love Sarah
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
JK Livin'
When we were in Calgary I knew exactly how many days we had been there and how many days it was until we could go home. Today, I don't know how many days we have been home, I know we are getting close to day 100, but I don't know how many days we have been home, and that is okay with me.
Since we arrived back home it has been very busy, busy with Christmas and busy with visiting with family and friends. We spent the past few weeks the way we would have any other year, which was awesome. We had Christmas eve at my parents house, and Christmas day with Sarah's family. It is so nice to be with our families once again, there were numerous times where I stopped to think about how glad I am that we were all together once again. I am sure we all thought that throughout the holiday season. New years was spent with friends of ours, normal right? It has been busy for Sarah and I, but the type of busy what we were desperately longing for in Calgary. Our boys are doing good and seem to be adjusting well to coming back home. Sarah and I are also adjusting well, I think we were both worried about coming back to such a busy life again, but so far its going smoothly.
Last week Linden was sick, he was puking etc. and not eating. The next day Cael and I had the same thing. We were concerned that Sarah would end up catching the same bug, and sure enough she did. I called the clinic in Calgary and they requested blood work. The next day we went to the cross and blood was drawn. At this point Sarah was already feeling a little better. After blood was drawn they started an IV of magnesium and potassium because those are usually low with a stomach bug. Halfway through this the nurse practitioner came back with the blood results which were really good. Sarah's platelets were 114 and her hemoglobin was 91, her other counts were all in the normal range. The Nurse said that they look like blood results from a different patient. She phoned Calgary and was told to discontinue the Potassium and magnesium and give Sarah a half litre of fluid. We also asked about the bone marrow test that was given before we left Calgary, the only results that she could give us is that there wasn't leukemia found. I think they might have better results for us for Sarah's appointment on the 10th. Sarah seems to be doing well with being home, she is however fatigued like they said she would be. I will try to get her to write a blog to explain...
We recently found out that the singer/piano player on that song Swim by Jack's Mannequin is a leukemia survivor. Last night we watched his documentary "Dear Jack", it was a pretty decent look into what he had to go through. He had the same kind of leukemia as Sarah and also underwent a stem cell transplant. That might explain why the lyrics of that song hit so close to home.
K
Since we arrived back home it has been very busy, busy with Christmas and busy with visiting with family and friends. We spent the past few weeks the way we would have any other year, which was awesome. We had Christmas eve at my parents house, and Christmas day with Sarah's family. It is so nice to be with our families once again, there were numerous times where I stopped to think about how glad I am that we were all together once again. I am sure we all thought that throughout the holiday season. New years was spent with friends of ours, normal right? It has been busy for Sarah and I, but the type of busy what we were desperately longing for in Calgary. Our boys are doing good and seem to be adjusting well to coming back home. Sarah and I are also adjusting well, I think we were both worried about coming back to such a busy life again, but so far its going smoothly.
Last week Linden was sick, he was puking etc. and not eating. The next day Cael and I had the same thing. We were concerned that Sarah would end up catching the same bug, and sure enough she did. I called the clinic in Calgary and they requested blood work. The next day we went to the cross and blood was drawn. At this point Sarah was already feeling a little better. After blood was drawn they started an IV of magnesium and potassium because those are usually low with a stomach bug. Halfway through this the nurse practitioner came back with the blood results which were really good. Sarah's platelets were 114 and her hemoglobin was 91, her other counts were all in the normal range. The Nurse said that they look like blood results from a different patient. She phoned Calgary and was told to discontinue the Potassium and magnesium and give Sarah a half litre of fluid. We also asked about the bone marrow test that was given before we left Calgary, the only results that she could give us is that there wasn't leukemia found. I think they might have better results for us for Sarah's appointment on the 10th. Sarah seems to be doing well with being home, she is however fatigued like they said she would be. I will try to get her to write a blog to explain...
We recently found out that the singer/piano player on that song Swim by Jack's Mannequin is a leukemia survivor. Last night we watched his documentary "Dear Jack", it was a pretty decent look into what he had to go through. He had the same kind of leukemia as Sarah and also underwent a stem cell transplant. That might explain why the lyrics of that song hit so close to home.
K
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